My Kind of Normal
I remember when I was actually in control of things in my house. It looked great, smelled like Martha Stewart's kitchen, and ran like clockwork. Those days are long gone. I thought I was busy when my girls were younger and I was running them around, but I'm busier now than I could have ever imagined. Busy, but happy.
I can't think of a better time to give overdue credit to someone with the patience of a saint, my husband. He accidentally landed in the world of dance. I'm sure he's not the only one out there. There are so many households that have been lovingly redesigned to fit the needs of aspiring young dancers. When serious dance moves into a family, so does the need for saintly virtue.
Schedules that once contributed to daily sanity go out the window. Instead, days revolve around classes, rehearsals, competitions, master classes, auditions, and more.... As much as I would like to think that our lives are "normal," they really aren't. They're just normal to us. Looking back, sometimes I don't know how we did it. Juggling a full sports schedule for the boys and total commitment to dance from the girls was our daily agenda!
I cringe at the term "Dance Mom." But I am one. If our kids are dancers, we are dance moms--be it the ones from you know where or the good ones. There is no way that our kids could do as much as they do if we weren't. And there are
plenty of "Dance Grandma's" or "Dance Aunts" out there too! The level of commitment is demanding.
We also have the true "Dance Dads"... the ones who actually know the names of their kid's solos and groups. The ones who learn a few technical terms and sometimes attempt pirouettes when no one is looking. These dads even know how much it costs for their kid's weekly classes, costumes and competition. (I don't know about you, but for me these dads know too much!)
Not my husband. His name is John. We've been married for 31 years and he has been involved with dance for the past 20 through Adrienne and Ashley. He was always and still is the perfect "Dance Dad"... a trooper who always knew just enough to get by and never enough to really know precisely what was going on ...he even danced in the party scene of "The Nutcracker" several years at his daughter's requests.
Because I always knew it could result in elevated blood pressure, I never really laid all the cards on the table when it came to costs. John never knew exactly what we spent on dance. Somehow I always managed to come up with what we needed without spilling all the beans about what was being spent. I have to confess... there were many times that I would cash an extra $20 when I went to the grocery store for either tuition or competition fees. I chose to call it creative financing, but dance pretty much reduced me to a life of embezzlement!
He never missed a competition unless it was absolutely necessary. When the girls would compete, my husband would take his laptop and park in the back row. He'd risk getting serious whiplash when he dozed off, but then wake up just in time to see the Adrienne and Ashley perform. That was all he wanted. That was all he needed. They were always perfect in his eyes, but he was the perfect audience.
After all these years, my husband still has the patience of a saint when it comes to putting up with my overambitious, "Type A" creative insanity. I often take on too many projects at once because I get so excited about each one! I'm always up to my ears in fabric and trim. The large pot on my stove is full of turquoise dye instead of soup. The table in our sunroom is always home to a work in progress, and if we had a dog he would have choked to death by now on sequins and Swarovski crystals. My boys complain about coming into the house and leaving covered in glitter - totally humiliating when you're on your way to coach high school baseball. Plastic bodies appear randomly throughout the house in various stages of undress wearing costumes in progress. Yes, it does get crazy here! But it's a real blessing to love your work...and I do!
When I look around our dance studio, I see the dedication of the parents. And do you know what? Being a Dance Mom or a Dance Dad is a good thing, a very good thing. Your kids may not thank you now, but they'll never forget that you were there for them.
I guess sometimes without being aware of it, I might take things a bit for granted. I married someone who really supports what I do. God knows he may not always understand me, but he supports me. This week is one of those weeks where I really should consider cloning myself. Housework will wait and home cooked meals will be on hold as I make last minute costumes for this weekend. John will be patient and understanding once again. Little did he know what he was signing up for 31 years ago when he said, "I do!" Lucky me.