Wedding Bells
Wedding season may mean romance, but to lawyers it means pre-nuptial agreements, new wills, and breached contracts. Unsentimental? Absolutely. Practical? Very.
Planning the Marriage
The engagement begins with the ring. Stripped of all its drama, the ring is sort of a security deposit, a gift "in contemplation of marriage". Legally, if the marriage does not take place, the ring belongs to the giver. Once the marriage does take place, even if it doesn't survive the honeymoon, the ring belongs to the wearer. Who keeps the ring in the event that the engagement is broken may, however, be decided by the (formerly) happy couple. Legal ownership becomes a non-issue if the ring is demanded or returned voluntarily (even in the midst of an argument, when you don't really mean to!), or if the disappointed ex-fiancée is allowed to keep it as consolation. Technical questions of ownership can arise if, for example, one of the parties could not legally "contemplate" marriage because he or she
wasn't divorced yet.
Once the proposal has been accepted and the parties "become engaged" they should consider a pre-nuptial agreement. Not everyone needs one, and negotiating a demand for a pre-nup can sorely test the engagement. If parents or other family members (typically co-owners of a family business) insist upon a pre-nup, they are sending a message of distrust rather than protection. Similarly, the non-propertied party could easily misinterpret the demand of the other party to "opt out" of community property or equitable distribution laws, which mandate sharing property acquired during the course of the marriage. For parties with children of former relationships, or adults bringing substantial property to a late-in-life marriage, a pre-nuptial agreement dealing with estate planning is necessary and desirable. And for gay couples, a pre-commitment agreement is essential to create many of the reciprocal rights and obligations that automatically go with the marital relationship.
In preparation for the ceremony, find out what your state requires for a marriage license and how long the waiting period is, if there is one. You will definitely need a certified copy of any judgment of divorce or death certificate of a deceased spouse. If the papers were issued by foreign authorities, you will need to know what degree of formality your state requires, whether a government stamp or seal, or the very flashy ribbons some governments still use. You may need picture ID: find out whether you need a passport, driver's license, or something else.
Planning the Wedding
Big wedding or small, you probably gave deposits to the event planner, the caterer, the photographer, videographer, stationer, calligrapher, and hairdresser. You may have made a deal with the travel agent to prepay for the honeymoon or to guarantee a certain number of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests. Are you protected if something goes wrong?
Sometimes these agreements are very informal, and don't provide recourse if you are disappointed. And you won't know there's a breach until it's too late. Travel agents may fail to follow through early enough to get the promised discounted rates. Caterers might renege on promises to serve premium brands of wines or spirits or luxurious foods. Photographers occasionally use your photographs in their promotional literature without your consent. Only monetary damages can adequately compensate, but if the agreement fails to provide for reimbursement or gives the provider an "out", you may have no remedy.
Destination weddings pose real challenges. If you're getting married in an exotic locale, you'll spend more time planning. Spend a little more time: reading. Review all the agreements carefully because correcting mistakes will be harder and more "last-minute". And enforcing contracts after the fact will be almost impossible. Most important, however, is to make sure that you are prepared to comply with the jurisdiction's requirements for a marriage license. Otherwise, you'll wind up with an expensive party, but nothing to celebrate!
Planning the Future
Married couples have legal rights and benefits solely as a result of the marriage. In the absence of a will, for example, the surviving spouse will inherit the entire estate, even if the two hadn't spoken a civil word to each other in years. Tax laws still favor married couples; state laws give married couples reciprocal rights to certain property acquired by them by during the marriage. Even couples of modest means, straight or gay, should consider consulting with a lawyer or financial planner prior to the wedding.
Your wedding should be the happiest time of your life. It may also be the time when your lawyer is your "best man."