I’m Baaa….aacckkk!
Dear Readers:
When I last wrote for Dancer, I was engulfed in some serious changes in my life and in my business that made it impossible to continue my extraneous obligations. In an effort to take hold of my life and gain some sense of control, I had to let go of some other things for awhile. My article here was one of those things and for that I am both sad and grateful. For a while I lost my dance voice, but I gained clarity and focus in my personal life, which I desperately needed. If you are a long-time reader of this column then you may remember an article I wrote many years ago about dance being the great love of my life. I can truly say in retrospect that it has been one of a very few loves that has not disappointed or betrayed me.
So, I hope you will take me back here on these pages where I have written some of my deepest and most passionate thoughts about dance, its value and the practice of teaching and sharing dance with students and audiences of all walks of life. Many people have urged and nudged me along to get back to my article and for that I am also very grateful. Below is a simple note that inspired me not to let the column go completely and that truly meant the world to me.
Dear Kathryn:
I just happened on your article in the December issue of Dancer. It was a wonderful article! Thank you for writing it!
Best wishes,
Anne
Anne who, you ask? Anne Green Gilbert. Oh, my gosh, I thought, when I saw this in my e-mail box. I was so honored by this simple affirmation of my writing and from one of the greatest early childhood dance educators in the world. How could I merit her compliment? Who was I to be complimented by THE Anne Green Gilbert? But you see, as people in these situations can do, I had lost all self-interest and confidence in my abilities to do anything right. My personal life, my marriage, had taken a turn for disaster and in that process; I almost allowed myself to get sucked to the bottom of the pit by mentally and emotionally abusive treatment. I lost my confidence and my desire as a dance teacher and began to displace my anger on to dance, my life choices and my career. But, as it has so many times, dance remained a true and consistent thread in my life and through that consistency, gave me strength, hope and a sense of well-being.
Of course, I looked back to see what article that was. It was right before I left to attend the NDEO conference in Buffalo, NY and to receive the Outstanding Dance Educator Award. I wrote on teachers than can and do and still teach opposing the cliché, those that can, do and those that can't ...teach. Then I reflected that I was headed to Buffalo to receive an award and that reminded me that I must have had some worth, right? As the summer has progressed I have been able to recover the parts of me I lost and now the "light at the end of my tunnel" no longer looks like the headlight of a runaway train!
By the time this goes to print, I will have accepted my Board position with National Dance Education Organization, another thing for which I am grateful. It has been nearly 10 years since I have served in a national leadership role in dance and that is a part of my life that I have desperately missed. I am also deeply grateful to Jo and Owen for patiently waiting on me to get my act together and get back to the pages of Dancer.
Many times through this ordeal of three years total, I have thought of how my dance training has paid off in developing me as a person. I do not know who first introduced me to the word "stick-to-it-tive-ness" but I think this is the thing that dance teaches us best. Just as you must try and try and try to master the balance necessary for the pirouette, so you must continue to brush yourself off and continue to try to find the balance in your life. I found this wonderful quote not too long ago and I think it applies to dance and to life:
"Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall."
Again, I am grateful for all of those in dance and in family that have helped me back to my feet and trusted that I will be successful.
Now I ask you readers to help me get back in my Dancer groove. Please send me your comments, questions anything that is on YOUR mind that sparks mine!
Kathryn Austin, R.D.E. can be reached at kaustin2@cfl.rr.com or by snail mail at PO BOX 771518, Winter Garden, FL 34777.