Will I ever be able to dance againThe fear of never dancing again after back surgery
Recital Night - June 2006
As the lights gradually dim down and the majestic curtains open up revealing the decorated stage, the loud voices of the multitude become merely a whisper... The thundering applause of proud parents, family members and friends fill the auditorium, anticipating the entrance unto the stage of gorgeous dancers who will perform the opening act of the night. As the music begins and beautiful shadows spin around on stage, I find myself focusing on one special girl, dancing and moving like any one of the other dancers; a girl who not even a year ago thought she would never make it to this recital... actually, a girl who thought she would never be able to dance again. Nobody sitting in the auditorium can tell how nervous and insecure she felt minutes before she went on stage for the first time in a year. I can't help myself... for those three minutes of act one, my mind races back to the beginning... Let me introduce you to Gaby, my daughter.
The year was 1989. My first daughter, Gaby, was born. She was exactly what we expected: a healthy, 18 inch-long, 10-finger, 10-toe, rosy little girl. She was perfect! The new bundle of joy in the family. Thirteen years went by and not only did she grow up to be beautiful, inside and out, but she was smart, happy and active. Gaby was followed by her three gorgeous sisters: Kat, Andrea and Alex.
During a regular pediatrician visit in 2002, I received the news that Gaby had developed a back disorder that, unknown to me at that time, is very common among teenagers, mostly girls. This condition is called Scoliosis, which is an abnormal curvature of the spine, in the shape of a letter "S" or "C". Her condition was serious enough that the pediatrician recommended that I take her to an orthopedic doctor.
After doing some research and hearing excellent recommendations, I decided to take Gaby to Miami Children's Hospital, with the renowned Dr. Harry Shufflebarger, President of the Scoliosis Research Society, or as I call him: an eminence in scoliosis. After organizing all the questions that raced through my mind: "Why? When? How? Is it my fault?", the first question I uttered was: "Did this happen to her spine because she dances too much?" I mean, Gaby was 13 at that time, and she had been dancing since the age of 3 and competing since she was 7, rehearsing sometimes 5 days a week for hours! Well, some people put this idea in my head and I was starting to believe it. But after all the preliminary examinations, I heard differently from Dr. Shufflebarger: "Dancing did not do this to her spine; on the contrary, dancing strengthened her back muscles and delayed the spine from curving any faster." He then went on to explain the different types of scoliosis (infant, postural, hereditary, etc.) and told me "Gaby's scoliosis is hereditary. Nothing could have prevented it. We can only slow down the process with the use of a back brace. Her scoliosis affects mostly girls who are on the onset of puberty (12-13) and it worsens as they reach maturity (15-16)." In research of my own, I also found out that in a family of girls, 3 out of 4 will develop some kind of back disorder... My heart jumped... Does this mean that Kat, Andrea & Alex would also be heading this way?
For two years, Gaby wore the back brace, which she had to use almost 24 hours a day. Basically, this brace forced her spine to straighten, so while she wore it, she looked aligned. Gaby only took it off for her dance classes and to shower. Her curvature at this point was 42 degrees. The prognosis was that the brace was not going to correct the curvature, but it would stop the spine from deforming any further. I have to say that, in the difficult teenage years she was going through, I was very proud to see that instead of the brace making her resentful and self-conscious, it actually made her personality stand out, I guess to compensate for the brace, and she became very popular among her peers. Gaby continued dancing and competing at Just Dance It! in Miami, Florida, but a lot of strain was being put on her back, and some nights she felt the pain.
At the age of 15, after examining her latest x-ray, Dr. Shufflebarger was surprised to see that there was a slight improvement in Gaby's back! The curve had gone down to 38 degrees! That was amazing! The next step was to reduce the usage of the brace and wear it only at night. We celebrated, but not for long. In just three months, we noticed the right side of Gaby's back began deforming and bulging; the curve suddenly had gone up to 50 degrees, and the inevitable came up... In January of 2005 Dr. Shufflebarger announced that Gaby needed back surgery... we were devastated...
As the probabilities stated, during all this time, my three youngest daughters, also dancers, began developing back disorders as well. Kat was diagnosed with Kyphosis, another back condition that occur when the curvature causes bowing of the back and the person looks slouchy and hunched; and the twins, Andrea and Alex also developed scoliosis. So we began keeping an eye on their condition as well. This time, I made the conscious decision that I wasn't going to put them in a brace.
Gaby's surgery was scheduled for July 6th, 2005, after school was out, and after all her competitions and recital were over. The next six months were very difficult for her. She cried almost every day. She became bitter thinking that her life was over because she believed she would have a huge scar on her back and she would never be able to dance again... Even though the doctor had already told her that just three months after the surgery, she would be able to start stretching and taking a few dance steps, and that it wouldn't be long before she could dance again altogether... but she didn't believe him or anybody... she was immersed in her own darkness. During this time, after each competition, she would go backstage and cry: "This is it! I'm never going to dance again! This is my last dance!" It was very painful to see her this way. I was used to having a joyful, bubbly girl, and she was becoming cynical and sad. She literally did not believe she would ever be able to wear her jazz shoes again, or do a split, or do any of those dance steps I don't even know how to pronounce or spell!!
So the day of the surgery arrived. The doctor and nurse had already explained the procedure to us, so we thought we were well prepared and highly informed parents. Everything looked good, the success rate of this surgery is extremely high, and it's a highly-perfected procedure... But no... at the moment your child is wheeled down that long hospital corridor towards an operating room, and you are holding her hand and looking into her fearful eyes, with a smile on your face so as to hide your own apprehension, no matter how old she is... what you see right there in front of you is your 2 year-old toddler... and you can't help it, your heart feels heavy and all you want to do is cry...
So what was the procedure? Basically, and explained as one mother to another, two rods were placed and screwed on each side of her spine in order to force it straight. Then bone graft was done (in her case from a rib) in order to fuse the spine straight. The surgery did not take more than 4 hours. The recovery was unbelievable. In just two weeks, she was already walking around the house, longing to go out shopping. In just four weeks, she was already her old self, longing to dance again. The scar was pretty long, nothing that can't get better with special ointments. Restrictions - For the first three months: no swimming, no sun, no dancing, no jumping, no roller coasters, no bending down. - For the next six months: no sun, no jumping, and no roller coaster. What about dancing? By January 2006, just six months after her surgery, Gaby was given the go-ahead to dance: leaps, splits, fouettés, all included!
At first she feared the floor, but as the weeks went by, and her strength and confidence returned, Gaby was able to catch up to her advance class, working very hard to keep up with them, she joined her friends to yet one more dance recital... her 10th.
So as the song fades away and the applause resonates loudly in the auditorium, sending shivers down my own spine, I see Gaby taking a bow on stage at the end of act one, and then quickly leaping off to the sidelines and backstage. What an amazing accomplishment. Here she is, dancing with her heart once again; just seven days shy of the one-year anniversary of her surgery, still with the long scar faintly showing down her back, she was making a renewed debut on stage. Teaching her peers and specially her little sisters, who may eventually go through this surgery, that if you love something really bad, there's no excuse to give it up, even if you have to work twice as hard to achieve your goal! As the recital ended, our family and closest friends who came to see my beautiful daughters dance, gave Gaby a special ovation, filled with pride and admiration: "Bravo Gaby, you did it! Special Platinum Medal for you!"
Gaby, these days, volunteers at Miami Children's Hospital talking to young girls who are about to have back surgery or who already had it. And she is once again part of the competition team at Just Dance It!
For more information about scoliosis, other back disorders, treatment, symptoms, and surgery, I recommend you visit: http://health.yahoo.com/ency/
healthwise/hw72376 or http://bone-muscle.health-cares.net/spine-disorders.php