Canterna x 3 Living Backward
Another year, another competition season, another can of worms... It's a cycle. It's predictable. It's not going to change. Teachers teach, choreograph, and rehearse their students for another year. They give the talks about jealousy, behavior, and other things that go hand in hand with competition. Students reach for new goals, practice hard and prepare for new challenges. Is it really worth it? It should be, if you see it in the right light. You just have to know what's really important and what's not.
If you knew the outcome of every choice you've made in life, would you make that choice again? Would you have the courage to try again where you have failed and maybe change that outcome? Would you be willing to make sacrifices knowing that you may fall short of your goals? Why do you pursue anything? Is it for the payoff or for the experience? Isn't the experience really the payoff in many instances? Think about it.
Disappointment is an inescapable part of life. Sometimes we work so very hard for something only to be disappointed when it doesn't happen the way we had hoped. Whenever we work hard toward a goal we have to remember to keep one thing in mind. What have we gained by the experience? Have we grown as a person? Have we become better at something than we were before? Then really, what have we lost? Instead of thinking about what you have lost, think about what you have gained by trying.
You may never be better than someone else, but you can be better than you are today if you're willing to work at it. Besides, better is relative. People ask me all the time, which of my daughters I think is a better dancer. The truth? Neither is better, they're both just different. That's the way it should be. Some people like chocolate and some like vanilla. I say viva la difference.
The other day I photographed some of Ashley's students for an upcoming competition. Looking through the lens, I saw all of their individual strengths. What might be someone's legs was another's back, or turnout, or smile. It might be their inner strength, or perhaps their perseverance. But they all had something wonderful to offer. I've come to the realization that a total package is not just physical, but mental as well. You have to see beyond the competition. A price can be put on a trophy or a scholarship, but you can't put a price on one of their faces. Trophies don't do sleepovers.
I would rather see someone try and fall short than not to try at all. One of my favorite quotes is, "The only way we ever fail is when we fail to try." No one in a position of success got there by playing it safe. Wishing gets you nowhere. You can't just wait for your ship to come in, you have to swim out and meet it. Take a life preserver if you have to, but get out there and swim!
The fear of failure is a paralyzing thing. Believe it or not, there is so much to learn if you're willing to take the risk! My mistakes have been some of my greatest learning experiences. The first leotard I made was an absolute disaster. I ran the stretch of the fabric the wrong way. It was right before a competition and I was burning the midnight oil. I thought it looked great when I finished. But... when I asked Adrienne to try it on, reality set in. It could have stretched to fit someone the height of Shaquille O'Neal, but I couldn't make it stretch wide enough to accommodate an eight year olds stick figure. I kept saying, "Suck it in," but it didn't matter. That fabric was not going to budge. I never made that mistake again. Lesson learned.
Life is a matter of constantly becoming. No matter what our age, we're never finished (which is good). We may go through times when we fall short of the person that we would like to be, but in another year or so another chapter is being written. And the best part is - we write the book. While we can't always control what happens to us, we alone have the responsibility of choosing how we react to what happens to us.
Bring your best to the table. Forget about someone else's best. You can't control it. You can worry about someone else all that you want, but you're wasting your time. Concentrate on making your self a better person, a better dancer, a better friend, parent or teacher. Be grateful for the opportunities that come your way and enjoy the journey. That is the lasting prize.
One of the limited rewards of age is the ability to catch a glimpse of what we should have seen all along - the big picture. Within the past few months, I've had the pleasure of reconnecting with some of the friends that I have made through dance over the years. My husband and I spent a long evening sharing dinner, stories, and lots of laughs. It made me think of how lucky I am, and just how much we had all grown to get to the point where we are today. If only we could live life backward, we might just get it right the first time!