Theater Etiquette: What to Wear, How to Act, and When to Use the Bathroom
I was five years old when I saw my first dance performance, the "Nutcracker." I was dressed in my Christmas best, a black velvet dress, tights, and patent leather shoes. I remember how beautiful my mom looked. She was wearing a grown-up version of my black dress, high heels, and her hair fell gracefully on her shoulders in loose curls. She held my hand tightly as we entered the grandiose theater. As we took our Playbills and our seats, I noticed how glamorous everybody looked. The entire audience was dressed to the nines and I was in awe.
This past winter, I returned to the same theater to see the very same company perform the "Nutcracker." The dancing was just as breathtaking as I remember, but something was missing. There was nothing glamorous about the event aside from the Sugar Plum Fairy's tutu. Audience members were wearing jeans, t-shirts, and sneakers. I was more than stunned; I was appalled. As I waited for the curtain to rise, I wondered what had happened to the good old-fashioned theater etiquette my mom instilled in me.
A few months earlier, I saw Twyla Tharp's short-lived musical, "The Times They Are A-Changin'." I will admit that the show was an utter disappointment, but it is no excuse for some of the audience members' behavior. Many were booing, talking on their cell phones, and leaving before intermission. A performer myself, I sympathized with the dancers on stage. They were all extremely talented and hard-working, but they became innocent victims of an ill-conceived storyline and poor direction. The audience members, however, had absolutely no pity. Their behavior was not just inappropriate; it was downright rude.
Thus, I began thinking about theater etiquette. When my initial shock subsided, I considered that perhaps some audience members are simply not aware that certain behavior is required once inside a theater. I decided I would write down some simple codes of conduct to which audience member should adhere whenever possible.
What To Wear
For women: If you would consider wearing it to the movies, your friend's house, or the mall, it is not appropriate for the theater. If you look like an extra from the movie "Coyote Ugly," you need to change. Flip-flops, belly shirts, and ripped jeans may be OK for a house party, but they do not belong in a theater. When in doubt, keep it simple. Try a basic black dress, a pair of slacks with a fitted blazer, or an A-line skirt with a cardigan set. Remember, less is more. Do not overload on accessories or make-up. People paid to see the performers, not you.
For men: A pair of khakis and a button-down shirt is standard theater fare for a matinee show. For an evening performance, dress it up a little with a blazer or sport coat. Tennis shoes and a baseball cap are strictly forbidden. If you would consider wearing it to hang out with your friends and watch the game, leave it at home. The theater and the stadium are two very different venues.
How to Behave
With the advent of modern technology, proper theater etiquette is becoming increasingly difficult to achieve. To be honest, I have faltered in this area on a few occasions. One time, I accidentally left my cell phone on during a performance of "Swan Lake." My Mexican Hat Dance ring-tone was less than appreciated during the Grand Pas de Deux. After this experience, I learned one very important thing: Always turn your cell phones, Sidekicks, Blackberries, I-phones, pagers, and other noise-making gadgets OFF. Do not take the risk and place them on silent or vibrate. Just turn them off. You can check your voicemail later.
When the performance is boring, not up to par, or just downright awful, do your best to keep your cool. Regardless of how much you despise what you see, do not respond disrespectfully by booing, shouting, or swearing. Even more importantly, do not fall asleep. You will end up snoring or slumped over the person next to you, which can be distracting and embarrassing. The best course of action here is to wait until intermission and then call it quits if the thought of sitting through Act II makes you nauseous. Do what you have to do, just do it gracefully.
Silence is golden, especially in a theater. When you get the urge to lean over and point out the candy cane scenery to your friend, remember that he or she can see it too. There is no need to talk during a performance. Post-performance discussions can be very fulfilling, but ones that take place during the balcony scene of "Romeo and Juliet" are disrespectful not only to the people around you, but also to the performers. Again, people paid to see them act, not you.
When to Use the Bathroom
Before the show, during intermission, or after the show has ended. The only exception is an emergency. Otherwise, try your best to wait.
Oh yeah, and no flash photography. Enjoy the show!