Stage Dads
In the studio world, no figure is more ubiquitous than the stage mom. She’s watching dance class through the door, peering behind the wings at competitions and putting the finishing touches on costumes and makeup backstage. Some stage moms have gotten a bad rap for being a little too involved, but let’s face it, the studio world wouldn’t function the same without them. Through all this, however, where are the dads? While some studios might dismiss dads as disinterested, Temecula Dance Company has discovered a way to successfully include them in the mix. Far from clueless, these fathers not only support their children’s dance aspirations, but also embrace the art form themselves. Read on to find out how the studio got dads to pipe up and pay attention.
From Comedy to Classic
Lani Morel opened the Temecula Dance Company in Riverside County, CA, 16 years ago. Five years into the program, Morel, a fan of “dad things,” decided to start a daddy-daughter dance at the recital. She intended the number to be simple and funny, with father-friendly choreography and goofy themes, such as the beach. But six years ago, she hired teacher and choreographer Jimmy Peters to take over the father-daughter dance and the entire tone changed. “I don’t know how to do funny, so I thought of how I would want to dance with my daughter,” says Peters, whose daughter Sela Rose is now 6 years old. “The father’s most important dance is to give his daughter away at her wedding. Why not have a number before then?” Peters envisioned Fred Astaire, classic coat tails and dresses for the girls. The idea caught on, and father participation ballooned from 45 dads to more than 200 today.
The production has swollen to grand proportions. Temecula Dance Company rents backdrops and chandeliers, and fathers and daughters must take turns on stage because there isn’t room for all of them at once. Now, fathers and daughters, ranging from ages 2 to 20, dance in short intervals according to age. One father who has four daughters never leaves the stage. The fathers and daughters dance to the debonair music of yesteryear: Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin or newcomer Michael Buble. Peters has created an atmosphere that makes fathers comfortable with dance. “When you look at your little girl’s face and see how excited she is? It’s like Cinderella with her hero,” he says.
Quality Time
How did Peters and Morel attract so many fathers to the routine? “We sold it on the simple idea of spending quality time with your daughter,” says Peters. “You watch your daughters grow up. It’s remarkable to have those memories of the show and the rehearsal.” Peters is able to lure fathers, most with full-time jobs, to the studio to rehearse all day on a weekend before the show. Morel believes getting the fathers actively involved bridges the gap for fathers who are used to bonding with their sons. “It’s real easy for the dads to get involved in sports,” she says. “But if their daughter is in dance, it’s not as simple. They are used to being an observer.”
One dance per year doesn’t sound like all that much quality time. So for those who wanted to become more involved, Peters formed the Tapping Dads. He took a small group of fathers and taught them how to tap. The first year they performed a number to “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head.” Six years later, they were on national television, competing in “America’s Got Talent.” They typically rehearse two to three hours each week, however this past summer they spent nearly 25 hours weekly preparing for the TV show. Eighteen fathers lost 585 pounds collectively. The Tapping Dads took on their routines with a competitive zeal that rivaled their daughters. Yet, Peters says the national attention didn’t strain relationships between them. “There’s not one girl who’s embarrassed about their dad tapping,” he says. “The daughter can say, ‘Hey dad, let’s go home and work on this time step.’ You have these dads putting their heart and soul into it. They wouldn’t give it up for the world.”
Role Models
Bringing fathers into the mix provides studio daughters with more than just a second involved parent. Morel believes it helps reinforce a positive image of healthy relationships with men. “It makes such a difference in their life as they transition into being a young woman,” she says. “They are treated with respect and warmth, and it gives them an expectation of how they should be treated by other men in their lives.”
On the flip side, fathers can appreciate the physical difficulty of dance and find a new respect for their daughters’ commitment. Although, Tapping Dads is comprised of fathers who have some stereotypically masculine jobs—one is vice president of a corporation; one is an airline pilot; another is a sharp shooter for the SWAT Team—they value the athleticism and dedication necessary to become a talented dancer. “One father came up to me and said, ‘Football is so much easier than this,’” says Peters. “After rehearsal, he said, ‘I’m exhausted!’”
Studio Incentive
Dads who understand their daughter’s hardships in dance may be able to form a tighter relationship because of the shared experience. But on a selfish level, studio directors can also benefit financially from their understanding. “Even in this day and age, many times the dads are still the person that determines how finances are spent in the family,” says Morel. “The dads that participate in the father-daughter number are very supportive of any dancing that their children want to do. They don’t question the dance bill because they see the benefits. Those are the dads that are like, ‘More classes? Maybe she should take ballet too.’ They’re intimately involved in the training.”
Whether fathers dance on stage with their daughters, compete in a national television show or simply approve the bill, their involvement in their daughters’ (and sons’) dance career can mean a world of difference. So, many fathers cherish the day they’ll dance with their daughter on her wedding day. By participating in their daughter’s studio life, they can make more moving memories through dance.