When Your Feet Aren’t the Only Things Hurting
The reply letter from your latest audition arrives. It begins with “Thank you for auditioning. We had many wonderful dancers this year and the decision took careful consideration.” It goes on to explain you were not selected for the part, ready for the summer program or a right fit for the company. And it always closes with “We wish you success in all of your future dancing endeavors.”
No one can escape. It is always dreaded. The wording may vary, but the meaning is the same and rejection hurts. If it hasn’t happened yet, then it will at some point in something. It’s harsh, but makes us more dynamic. However, that doesn’t mask the sting.
It’s not all bad news. The dancer does not have to battle their emotions. In fact, with the help of their teachers (and parents) the audition can become what it should be— a learning experience.
“We should look at how we define the audition, rejection and acceptance process. I view it more as a process and how to move to, through and after,” says Sanna Carapellotti, therapist/performance specialist and owner of Mental Performances in Pittsburgh, PA. “There is a part of that they can control. The ‘controllables’ are what time you go to bed, what you eat. Their responsibility is to present their best self and their best dancing on that particular day.”
Right before an audition the dancer’s technique will not change over night. This means attention should be paid to other practices that will enable them to focus and stay confident.
Allie Beach, a director of the Children and Teen Program at Broadway Dance Center in New York City, explains that auditioning is an experience. “Auditioning is a technique all students should master,” she comments. By telling them it is just a class, some of the pressure may be alleviated. “Some kids are wonderful in class and the second they get to an audition they tense up. By explaining it’s just a class it calms their nerves.”
Many times the dancer can feel alone with the pressures they have placed on themselves. They are just a number in a room of dancers and their perspective can become warped.
“They should go for themselves, not thinking ‘I’ve got to get in,’” says Roberta Humphrey, director of Dance For Joy in Mohegan Lake, NY. “I tell them to be yourself and enjoy it. Also, it’s peoples opinion, it’s not about being good or bad.”
At many auditions, the judging criteria are out of your hands and the outcome is not a personal attack on your ability or passion. “It’s a great experience and accomplishment. It’s not personal. [Dancers] are perfecting their craft, it’s a learning tool,” remarks Beach.
Preparing for an audition can take place in everyday dance class. When analyzing what makes a dancer stand out in a room of equally talented individuals it often comes down to performance quality—a smile and some confidence go a long way.
“I do a mock audition,” says Humphrey. “They get to wear a number and I have smaller groups. Mock auditions can really help by just being up there with that number. I pretend I’m the judge with a clipboard writing things down, and I call them by their number.” She also reminds her dancers not to get intimidated if the judges whisper to each other. “I tell them you don’t know what the judges are talking about, so don’t try to guess.”
By discussing the importance of performing, even in regular technique class, the quality can become second nature. Although auditions are a class like any other, you do not want to be trudging your way across the floor during grand allegro.
“We talk about it in our showcase dances or combinations in class about the performance aspect and quality. We practice that in class because you never know who can be watching,” says Beach.
When the day has finally arrived for the audition itself, the dancer will probably be nervous and anxious, but it’s all part of the process. “It’s important to look at what the nervousness is about and being honest about that. Take a look at the hard facts. ‘Is it because I didn’t practice hard enough?’” offers Carapellotti, who looks at being nervous as a positive occurrence. “It’s building momentum. The heart beats, there are butterflies, it’s the body preparing to perform and the worst thing to do is say ‘relax.’ You don’t want to dance relaxed. Those things are the body revving and juicing up. These thoughts and emotions are progressing towards performing.”
During the class it’s important the dancer does not become fixated on every mistake. “I say take a deep breath, smile and keep going,” remarks Humphrey. “I say it at barre and during my combinations.”
After the rejection letter arrives, there is always a next time and this can often be an underestimated sentiment. “Being told no is a learning experience. It’s a time to assess their needs and an opportunity to strengthen the coping mechanisms,” comments Carapellotti.
As a dance teacher, you play an important role in the child’s motivation to try again next time. It is important for them to move on. “I’m a big believer in whatever happens can prepare you for what happens next,” Humphrey asserts. “OK, yes it’s awful, feel bad. It’s fine to let yourself feel that, but then see what you can take from it.”
Carapellotti even mentions the benefits of the teacher sharing their own rejection stories. As an adult, you have probably been rejected or have had to say no to someone when judging for yourself, and it’s not personal.
“It’s natural to have emotions after a ‘no’ or rejection. It’s a natural process. Often you can feel a physiological let down when so much energy is expended,” she says.
Humphrey remarks no matter how many times you tell them not everybody will be accepted, there are still tears. Teachers can show their support by listening to the child and using their own expertise within the art form.
“Teachers can say, ‘I know that you did your best, but what does this rejection say about you?’” says Carapellotti. “It gives a lot of information about what is happening internally. They shouldn’t deny themselves this opportunity in their training. Rejection is a springboard to self-discovery.”
She suggests helping the student to formulate a plan for next time. Look into what he/she can do, and what was missing for them in that particular audition.
A parent also plays an influential role and Carapellotti believes they can take charge by attending to the “controllables” in their child’s life. Their plan can include going to bed earlier, eating properly and managing their social life.
She also encouraged them to watch out for simple excuses or claims. “A teacher will want to give them a realistic appraisal. Listen for misinformation. Why were you rejected? What can you clarify? And it wasn’t because you missed that turn, there is a much bigger picture.” “Rejection is filtered through beliefs and ideas about ourselves as performers,” says Carapellotti. “You need to acknowledge those emotions so you are more ready next time.”
Whether you are 13 or 30 years old, rejection is never easy to swallow, but there can be different emotions when a dancer is 12 versus one that is 18, so should they be treated differently?
“Handling them the same is what we do here. Young or old, it’s still discouraging. Even at 16 or 17 they are still kids and finding out who they are as a person and dancer,” says Beach.
The only difference between ages is often the pressure the dancer puts on the audition. Carapellotti suggests they may feel more is at risk as they get older because it turns into a career possibility, but she urges them, young or old, to look at the outcome as an opportunity to shape themselves. “Encourage them to look at it as an experience for feedback. Why are they there? If it’s just for a job you separate from the love and passion. It’s a whole different motivation.”
As a teacher, being honest can make you a trustworthy advocate. “I think it’s important to be honest if it’s over their heads,” says Humphrey. “But if they have their hearts set on it…I’m a big believer in dreaming big.”
There are a few tips a dancer could put into practice at an audition. “Use your breath control, its always present and it pulls us back into the moment. Listen to the breath, inhale and exhale for a few minutes and you’re back in the moment,” suggests Carapellotti.
And when one audition is done, there is always another in the wings. “One can journal, go have fun with friends, keep the conversation going with a parent, keep notes for the next audition,” she says. “Set up a plan for improvement, and also simply acknowledging the thoughts and feelings is very powerful. Being heard makes a difference.”